You’ve heard of self-esteem? It’s that “fragile” part of your personality which can either make you feel like a worthy member of society, or feel worthless. It’s something which can very easily be upset by the words or actions of others. High self-esteem can easily slide over into pride, which can be sinful, whereas low self-esteem can be an excuse for underachieving. Paul outlines another path in his letter to the Romans where he says, “For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith” (Romans 12:3).
That our society has a widespread obsession with self-esteem is born out by many examples. For instance, the concept of social promotion in schools allows and encourages teachers to pass a child up to the next grade even though doing so will seriously hinder his ability to cope at the next level. It is feared that if he is not promoted he will feel beneath his peers and his self-esteem will be injured, which could result in anti-social behavior. College sports teams are restricted in their choice of mascot, according to recent news reports, for fear of lowering the self esteem of some group or other. Everyone has to be careful about “profiling” an ethnic or socio-economic group for fear of lowering its self-esteem and being guilty of “bias” or even “hate.” Ironically, it is considered wrong to profile any religious group, barring Christians. We are ipso facto the “bad guys” in the minds of many in the realms of psychology and the media.
What is to be the Christian attitude toward your estimation of yourself? Paul answers the question, as we have seen in the Scripture quoted above, but let’s look into it in greater depth. Firstly each of us is given a direct command “not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think.” You have to stand back and give yourself an honest evaluation without putting yourself down, or unduly building yourself up, in other words, only go as far as you “ought to think.” Problems had obviously arisen in various Christian communities where some had what they considered “better” gifts and were looking down upon others. Paul addresses this problem with the command: “Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation” (Romans 12:16). On the handling of “gifts” in the Christian community, Paul points out that we did not originate our gift or gifts, because it is the Holy Spirit who has distributed these, and He has done so “as He wills” (1 Corinthians 12:11).
Next we must recognize our responsibility to others because Paul instructs: “In lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves” (Philippians 2:3). To give more insight into the process this can be translated: “In lowliness of mind esteem one another more highly than yourselves.” There is to be a mutual respect for each other and consideration for other people in your life that calls for each of us to be humble. Rather than “self-esteem” Christians are to practice giving esteem to others before themselves. Note the sharp contrast between what the Bible says and what the “experts” of our society are saying! In addition to esteeming one another, Paul instructs that we are to esteem our leaders: “Encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing. But we request of you, brethren, that you appreciate those who diligently labor among you, and have charge over you in the Lord and give you instruction, and that you esteem them very highly in love because of their work” (1 Thessalonians 5:11-13).
When we play down our attempts to seek self-esteem and start practicing the biblical instructions to “esteem one another” we’ll be a lot happier. Let’s do it the Bible way!